Afternoon Hot Takes: Prisons, Comedy Cash, Levi’s Millions, DIY Crosswalks, and Epstein Obsessions

California’s prison closures, a vice mayor’s comedy caper, a mayor’s PR splurge, Angelenos painting their own streets, and a governor hopeful fixated on Epstein files—what’s going on out there?

⏱️ 4.5 minute read

Periodically, enough items stack up on my “must share” list that I throw together a grab bag of things that make you go, “Huh?” or maybe just scream into the void. Here are five stories that caught my eye, each a little snapshot of a world that’s equal parts absurd and infuriating. Buckle up.

California’s Closing Another Prison—Cue the Safety Concerns

So, California’s shutting down its fifth prison, the California Rehabilitation Center in Norco, because apparently, we’ve got too many empty cells. Sounds like good news, right? Less crime, fewer inmates, everybody’s high-fiving? Nope. The state’s incarcerated population has plummeted from 170,000 to 91,000, but don’t break out the confetti. This isn’t because crime’s vanished—it’s because “criminal justice reforms” are keeping serious offenders out of prison or springing them early. CalMatters reports the state expects to save $150 million by closing the Norco facility next year. Instead of closing prisons, we should be repealing these so stupid “soft on crime” laws disguised as reforms. The governor has some important functions—public safety should be job one, not messing with Texas.

Stockton’s Vice Mayor Stars in a $50,000 Taxpayer-Funded Comedy

Over in Stockton, the city decided to spice up its budget by dropping $50,000 from its “risk mitigation fund” to save a “Wild N’ Out” comedy show where Vice Mayor Jason Lee just happened to perform. Emails obtained by ABC10 show arena officials begged for the cash to avoid cancellation due to low ticket sales, claiming it’d hurt the city’s vibe. Lee, who helped bring the show to town, calls accusations of impropriety a “political witch-hunt.” Yeah, nothing says ‘we’re broke but responsible’ like tossing taxpayer cash at a comedy show so the vice mayor can play stand-up star. This is supposed to be funny, right? It’s so stupid.

A CA Governor Hopeful’s Big Idea: Epstein Files, Really?

With a crowded field of Democrats vying to replace Newsom as California’s governor, you’d think candidates would focus on, say, housing or wildfires. Enter Stephen Cloobeck, some rich guy nobody’s heard of in politics, who thinks a seven-figure ad blitz tying Trump to the Epstein files will make him governor. This guy, who saw former Senate Leader Harry Reid as a “father figure,” thinks California voters are clamoring for Epstein conspiracy theories instead of, I don’t know, a plan to fix the state’s $12 billion deficit. Cloobeck clearly is trying to be cute, as this really isn’t an ad for him at all (except the last three seconds). Do you think this is an effective ad. Feels like Cloobeck may as well taken the $1.3 million he’s spending on this, and light it on fire.

San Francisco’s Mayor Thinks $350,000 Buys a Shiny New Image

San Francisco’s Mayor Daniel Lurie, heir to the Levi Strauss fortune, has a hobby: spending his own money to look good. The San Francisco Standard reports he’s dropped $440,000 since January on his campaign account, with $350,000 going to PR wizards crafting his image as the city’s savior. From speechwriters to media gurus who landed him on “Good Morning America,” Lurie’s team is working overtime to sell a “San Francisco comeback” narrative. California Globe notes his 73% approval rating, but with homelessness, fentanyl, and a $15.9 billion budget mess, is this a revival or just a fancy paint job on a crumbling house? Here’s an idea: if Lurie’s PR investment has resulted in some popularity, why not use it to reduce the size and scope of the massive city government and start pushing out the more wild socialists on the staff?

Los Angeles Residents Paint Their Own Crosswalks—Because Why Wait?

In Los Angeles, folks are so fed up with the city’s snail-paced response to street safety that they’re grabbing paint cans and playing urban planner. The Los Angeles Times tells us about Jonathan Hale in Sawtelle, who painted crosswalks near Stoner Park to protect kids and families. The city erased them, citing accessibility rules, then—surprise!—made them permanent after public outcry. In Koreatown, Crosswalk Collective LA painted a memorial crosswalk where a 9-year-old was killed, tired of waiting for a promised roundabout. Vision Zero? More like Vision Stalled Forever. No wonder the city can’t afford crosswalks—they’re too busy funneling money into everything but basic safety. It must suck to live in a city that can’t even do the basics.

So, Does It Matter?

These stories aren’t just random headlines—they’re a giant red flag waving in our faces. From prison closures that prioritize budgets over safety to taxpayer-funded comedy shows, millionaires buying PR points, residents painting their own crosswalks, and governor wannabes chasing Epstein ghosts, the throughline is clear: leaders are dodging the hard stuff. They’re banking on optics, distractions, or just plain ignoring the public’s needs. If we keep letting them slide, we’re stuck with a system that rewards showmanship over solutions. It’s time to demand more—because sarcasm alone won’t fix this mess.